Learning to Love
by givemelovelikeklaroline
Summary: Felicity comes back from visiting Barry to find a surly Oliver. Against the the warning bells going off in her head, Felicity decides to push him until he cracks and lets her in. His startling confession takes the wind right out of her. '"You think this is all one-side?" Oliver asked.'
1. Say Something, I'm Giving Up On You

A loud clang jolted Felicity out of her reverie. The bow that Oliver usually took such meticulous care of had been recklessly thrown onto the metal table behind her. She turned in time to see his mask being flung beside it.

Felicity raised her eyebrow in concern as she watched Oliver put away his Arrow gear with such vehemence. His anger didn't make sense. He had just gotten back from a successful mission. She knew because she had talked him through every step of the way. It had gone well enough that he had given Diggle an early night off, but Felicity could feel the angry energy simmering under his skin.

Felicity had noticed he had been a little off his game for the past few days, but he didn't seem to want to talk about it. In fact he didn't seem to want to talk to her at all.

Deciding now was a good a time as any to break the ice, she asked, "So how long, exactly, do you plan on not talking to me?"

He'd been distant and standoffish since she got back from visiting Barry in Central City. She had let him stew in his surly mood for a while, but enough was enough. It was time he got over whatever hang-up he was dealing with this week.

"I _am_ talking to you, Felicity," he growled impatiently without turning to face her.

"No, _I'm_ talking. You're snarling, and I think it's time you talk it out or I'm taking some more time off until you can get over your issue-of-the-week."

When she got no reply, she tried again. "What exactly happened while I was gone?"

Oliver continued to ignore her as he unwrapped the Velcro holding his gloves on.

"Hey!" Felicity snapped, tired of being shut out. She tugged on his arm, forcing him to face her. "I'm trying to talk to you here!"

Even in her furious state, she could see the slight wince on his face as he turned. Looking down, she saw the cause of his pain.

"Oliver, you're hurt! Why didn't you say anything before?" she asked as she moved to get the first aid kit.

Grabbing her arm, Oliver stopped her. "It's nothing. Don't worry about me."

Felicity tilted her head at him in skepticism. Oliver returned her look in silence.

Then, realizing he still held her arm, he let go and turned back to his task.

Studying his leather-clad back, Felicity decided to push him against her better judgment until he cracked and let her in.

"What happened while I was gone, Oliver?" she asked softly.

Oliver jerked off his glove and slammed his palm against the table. The sound reverberated in the otherwise silent room.

"_Nothing." _The word sounded as if it were ripped from him. "_Nothing_ happened. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Whirling on her, Oliver glared at her with more emotion than she had seen from him since Sarah left.

"Did you want to hear how Digg and I fumbled one mission after another? Did you want to hear how a little boy got shot in the Glades because of a glitch in our comm link, when I was 20 yards away and could have saved him?"

The fury in his eyes had her backing up until she bumped into the table behind her. It wasn't fear that had her retreating; it was the pain evident on his face.

"Did you want to hear how I sat here for hours every night trying to remember how I used to do this without you? Is that that what you wanted to hear, Felicity?"

Oliver's eyes bore into hers as his fingers lifted to graze her cheek.

"Did you want to hear me say how much we needed you while you were off playing doctor with Barry?"

Felicity's breath caught when he cupped her face in his palm and took another step into what she considered her personal space.

"Oliver," she whispered, watching mesmerized as his face moved closer to hers. "What are you doing?"

Oliver looked from her eyes to her lips. "Nothing you haven't wanted me to. I'll do whatever it takes to make you stay from here on out."

Up until that moment, every word out of his mouth seemed to wind around her and draw her more and more into him, but Felicity was no one's toy, and Oliver had pushed just far enough.

"No!" she yelled, pushing him back. "You do _not_ get to do that!"

Oliver gritted his teeth, realizing she had caught onto his game. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me. You know exactly what you were doing."

Walking around him, Felicity crossed over to her desk and started to gather her things. She huffed in frustration with Oliver and herself.

_Why are you so stupid, Felicity?_ She asked herself. _Why do you let him do this to you?_

Turning off her computer, Felicity reached for her keys as she vented.

"You know I'm attracted to you. That hasn't exactly been a secret around here, but I'm not going to let you use that as a weapon."

Grabbing her purse and coat, she walked back to where Oliver stood staring at her, his face hard enough it could have been carved from stone.

"You do _not_ get to use my attraction to you against me," she said, jabbing her finger into his chest. "I'm not your play-thing, Oliver. You can't seduce me into staying with you."

Her piece said, Felicity turned to walk out on him, but Oliver whirled her around to face him once more.

"Don't walk out on me again, Felicity!"

"What the hell is the matter with you?" she asked, jerking her arm out of his hold. "I was gone for a week! A _week_! You're acting like I abandoned you! And I will go visit Barry any time I damn well please. I may work for you, Oliver Queen, but you are _not_ the boss of me!"

Felicity started to walk out again when she realized she wasn't done putting his ego in place.

"And another thing, don't _ever_ try to use my feelings against me. Much to my disappointment, I can't exactly control how I feel about you, but I do know that the man you are in this moment is not a man I want, so don't try that again lest my better judgment catches up."

She had made it to the door this time before Oliver erupted.

"_You think this is all one-side?_" Oliver asked as he walked up to her. "You think I walk in here everyday or look up from my desk at Queen Consolidated and see you and not… _see_ you?!"

Trying one more time, Oliver hesitantly lifted her chin to face him.

"I see you, Felicity," he said brokenly. "Every damn day, I see you. And sometimes I find myself wanting more than I should."

A thousand questions ran through her mind. _What? How? Why?_ Felicity bit the inside of her lip to keep from saying something she might regret.

She was no fool. She knew she wasn't even in the same league as Oliver. Nor was she his leggy-model type. So she couldn't help but wonder if his words were true, or just another ruse to get her to stay.

Oliver seemed to be oblivious to her inner turmoil. His hands moved to her hair and he twirled a strand around his fingers. This was the first time he was able to touch her for his own pleasure and not for her comfort. He wondered how long this would last.

"I guess that's what was wrong with me," he said, his brow creasing at the realization. "I missed not seeing you. You're the brightest part of my day, and you took your light to someone else, and left me in darkness."

Exhaling on a shudder, she asked incredulously, "What are you saying, Oliver?"

Taking a deep breath, Oliver considered his words. He knew that what he said next could potentially make or break them. After going without her for the past week, he had realized just how much this girl in front of him had become his lifeline in this new life of his. He couldn't lose her again.

"I'm saying that I'm fighting a battle between needing to keep you safe and wanting you here with me. And I don't know how this one ends."

Felicity lifted her hand to grasp his wrist. "You're going to have to decide whether your want outweighs your need."

Oliver nodded slowly, knowing he had to sort his feelings out before he hurt her. Moving closer, he rested his forehead against hers and sighed. Just having her back was enough for now.

"What are we doing, Oliver?" Felicity whispered, genuinely curious.

"I don't know," he answered honestly, liking the way their breath mingled. "But I'm sure you'll help me figure it out. You always do."

**Thank you for reading! This was my first attempt at writing Olicity. How'd I do?! I'm always nervous writing new characters for the first time, so please review and let me know how this is!**

******If y'all think this deserves more of a resolve, **I do have sort of an idea of turning this into a multi-chapter fic ******(and usually, my chapters are a lot longer than this)**. If not, this can be a stand-alone/drabble :)

**I'll thank you kindly for your reviews!**

**And follow me on tumblr: olicitysqueen :)**


	2. And I Am Feeling So Small

**Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to turn this into a full blown fic. You guys rock. Also, I went back and made some very minor changes to the first chapter since I first put it up. Added about 300 words. You definitely do not need to go back and read it. I'm just putting it out there for those who did notice the details ;)**

Felicity was late.

Late. Late. _Late._

She knew she should have been in the office about an hour ago, but _freaking Oliver with his confusing words and distracting touches from last night_ had kept her awake all night and when she finally went to sleep, she ended up sleeping through her alarm. As it was, Oliver ended up dominating her dreams as well. If it hadn't been for her body getting excited enough to fall off her own bed, she probably wouldn't even be here by now.

Cursing Oliver and his _stupid touches_, Felicity stuffed the bagel she held into her mouth and balanced her coffee on her handful of files so she could open the door to her office. Rushing over to her desk, she set down her coffee and files and tore off a bite of her bagel and chewed as she walked around to her seat to get started on the day.

Telling herself to be subtle and pretend as if last night hadn't rattled her one bit, Felicity allowed herself a quick glance into Oliver's office to see if he noticed her entry. The bagel in her mouth turned to stone and Felicity's mouth dropped open as she witnessed Oliver opening his door to _her. Russia._

She noticed he had shrug off of his coat so they had obviously been in there a while. Their laughter carried over to her as they walked out. Felicity hated herself for noticing Oliver's hand at the small of her back as they walked through her office on their way to the elevator.

"So I'll see you tonight?" Isabel asked with a flirty smile.

"I'll be there," Oliver was saying when Isabel finally noticed her at her desk.

"Felicity," she acknowledged with a nod, looking her over with what Felicity would later swear was contempt.

Felicity blinked twice before Isabel turned up her nose and walked out of the door Oliver held for her.

When the elevator door closed, Oliver turned around to face her. The blank look in his eyes made her stomach roll as he stared at her, devoid of any of the emotions she had seen in him last night.

Oliver continued to stare at her in silence as Felicity's chest heaved in… _anger?_

_Nope._

_Disgust._

Swiveling her chair, she spat the bagel that she couldn't bring herself to swallow into the trashcan.

_Graceful as ever, Felicity,_ she chided herself. _Way to show him what a prize you are compared to the ever-so-flawless Isabel._

Wiping her mouth with a napkin, Felicity looked back at Oliver who hadn't moved a muscle during her less than stellar moment.

"There goes my appetite," she mumbled, tossing the rest of her bagel in the trash.

"Mind telling me what that was about?" Oliver asked sternly.

Felicity shot up from her seat.

"Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing," she said, crossing her arms.

"I know you don't like Isabel, and I'm not asking you to, but you could at least be polite to her! She's my _partner_, Felicity!"

_Oh, this is _not_ happening right now. _It was like Oliver had flipped a switch and the person he was twelve hours ago completely disappeared.

Rounding the desk to stand toe-to-toe with him, Felicity asked, "Are you seriously doing this right now? After last night? After everything you said?"

Oliver pursed his lips and looked over her head at some far off spot, enraging Felicity even further with the way he wasn't even acknowledging their moment.

"I didn't dream it up, Oliver. I know I didn't, because that moment was far more perfect than anything I _have_ dreamt up in the past—" Felicity caught herself as she over-shared, yet again.

Closing her eyes, Felicity took a deep breath and realized she only needed one answer from him.

She waited until he looked back at her, then whispered, "If she's your partner, then what am I, Oliver?"

His lips parted and brows furrowed at the obvious pain in her question. His mouth opened and closed, as if he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out.

When the silence stretched a moment too long, Felicity looked down at the space between them in disappointment. She should have known it was too good to be true.

Shaking her head at her own foolishness in thinking someone like billionaire-superhero Oliver Queen could ever want her, she turned back to her desk and straightened out the files on her desk for others to find. Without looking up, she added, "You know, when I signed on with you and the whole saving the city thing, I considered the dangers to my life. I never thought the danger would be to my heart."

Grabbing her purse and tablet, Felicity made her way out of the office, towards the elevator.

"Felicity, wait!"

She didn't bother turning around, but he needed her to know something. "Felicity… you told Barry my secret."

Not the explanation she was expecting but okay. "You're still stuck on that?"

"I never got over that! I thought I could put it aside, but when you left last night, I remembered that you told him something you had no right to. I trusted you and you betrayed my trust."

Felicity's mouth went slack at his accusation.

"Listen, Oliver, because I'm only going to say this one last time. I am sick of you holding this over my head."

Jabbing a finger into his chest she let him have it. "You were dying! _Dying_! Do you know what it's like to watch someone you… really care about slipping away from you? I couldn't do that! Not when I had a way to save you. It was either tell Barry or tell the entire world by calling 911. I picked the one that would save you _and _your precious secret."

She was practically shaking with the pent up fury, but she wasn't done. "Replay that scenario a hundred times, if you want, but I'd make that choice _every_ time. I will _always_ choose to save you. Always. Even when you don't want to save yourself."

The elevator dinged, indicating its arrival. "And if you still think you can't trust me… then we have bigger issues than we thought."

The elevator opened to reveal a smirking Diggle, whose smile fell when he sensed the obvious tension between the two. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No!" Felicity yelled.

"Yes." Oliver spoke at the same time.

"_O-_kay…" Diggle shifted his eyes from Felicity's seething face to Oliver's on-a-mission look. Deciding it would be safer if the lady got away, he stepped out and waved a hand for her to enter the elevator.

"I gather you were leaving, Felicity?"

"Felicity, we're not done," Oliver spoke sternly.

"Oh, _yes_, we are. Next time you want to talk, make sure you've got your head out of your ass."

"_Excuse_ me?" Oliver said, moving towards her.

"Good-bye, Felicity!" Diggle said, putting a hand on Oliver's chest to restrain him from getting on the elevator with her. He had no idea what was going on, but he knew it wasn't good.

As it was, the two glared at each other until the elevator closed and took Felicity away. Oliver shook off Diggle's hold and turned back towards his office.

"You didn't need to protect her from me, Diggle. I would never hurt her," Oliver said walking to his desk.

"Oh, I know," Diggle agreed, following Oliver. "I was actually protecting _you_ from _her_."

Oliver looked up at him, not amused.

"I am _your_ bodyguard, after all," he said in his dry humor.

When Oliver cracked a smile, releasing some of the earlier tension, Diggle asked, "Mind telling me what that was about? With Felicity?"

His angry glare returned. "Actually, I do."

Grabbing his coat off his chair, Oliver asked, "Now if _you_ don't mind, I'd like to get in a good workout."

Diggle studied him and wondered if he should push. _Something was going on between Felicity and Oliver._ He wanted to know what it was.

In the end, Diggle shook his head and sighed. He knew Oliver needed to work out some frustrations, and he'd probably be wearing the bruises to show for it, but agreed anyway.

"Fine," Diggle said, resigned. "Have it your way."

* * *

The blow to the shoulder had him spinning away. A jab behind his knee had him falling.

He was down.

Diggle took a second to curse himself for volunteering for this job, as he lay on the mat, exhausted and beat down.

A second later he rolled back on to the balls of his feet, arms lifted in defense to provide Oliver with a target to practice on. _I deserve a raise._

One hour and an accidental blow to the nose later, Diggle had enough. Grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat running down his upper body, Diggle threw the spare at Oliver.

"I think that's enough for today, don't you, Oliver?"

Oliver had spent the past three hours trying to erase the past week from his mind. _Didn't work,_ he realized as he wiped his neck and chest.

He just wanted to go back to before the _mirakuru, _before he got poisoned, before… Barry.

If it hadn't been for that kid, Felicity never would have left and he never would have known just how much he needed her.

But no matter how hard he went at Diggle, their training didn't even scratch the surface of the tension radiating in his body. And nobody knew more than Oliver that no matter how badly you wanted to, there was no changing the past.

Like it or not, Barry did come to town and he did offer Felicity something Oliver didn't think he had to give anymore. It made Oliver feel weak… broken. Something he had never felt around Felicity.

The thoughts had his anger rising to the forefront again. Taking pity on Diggle, Oliver silently made his way under the salmon ladder and jumped, grabbing onto the bar on the bottom rung.

As he worked his way up and down the ladder and back again, Oliver tried to focus on anything but the sound of Felicity's voice as she vowed to always save him. _One…two…three,_ he mentally counted his pull-ups focusing on the grueling task.

"_I liked watching you do that."_

The memory of her simple statement came unwillingly. Losing his grip, Oliver fell from the third rung onto the mat beneath him.

"Damn it!" Oliver cursed himself and his concentration that had been shot to hell by a plain, blonde IT girl who had taken up permanent residence in his mind.

"Oh, my God! Oliver! Are you okay?!" Felicity suddenly appeared by his side as he struggled to get himself up off the ground.

Diggle had also knelt on his side, offering a shoulder to lean on as he stood, but it was Felicity's hands on his chest and face that had him flinching.

"I'm fine, Felicity!" he yelled as he pulled away a little too forcefully.

Diggle looked between Felicity and Oliver as he supported Oliver onto his feet. As soon as he knew the man had his bearings again, Diggle gave Oliver's arm a warning squeeze to remind him to reign in his anger.

Felicity for her part managed to mask her concern under a look of annoyance as she stood back up and brushed off her skirt. "So I'm not allowed to worry about you anymore? You know, you should really just sit down and write out a list letting me know what we are and are not allowed to feel for each other, because right now I'm getting whiplash!"

"_Felicity_," he said in warning, trying to remind her they had an audience.

Felicity turned her head to face Diggle, who had moved back to the computers but kept his eyes on them. "Please. Like Diggle doesn't agree with me."

Diggle held up his hands. "Hey, I have no idea what's going on between you guys. And as much as I'm enjoying witnessing this battle of beauty versus brawn, I'd rather be the bystander here and not take sides."

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him, miffed that he wouldn't side with her. "Then I'll just remind you that it's usually the innocent bystander that gets shot," she joked.

Envying the ease with which Felicity and Diggle conversed, Oliver stepped between the two. "What are you doing here, Felicity? I don't remember calling you in."

The smile that had spread on her face just moments ago fell once again at Oliver's cold tone. He saw it happen and hated that he seemed to be hurting her without even trying.

"Don't mind me," she said, pushing past him to the computers. "I'm just stopping by to grab a few things I left behind. I'll be out of your hair soon enough. You don't have to worry about dealing with me anymore."

Walking around, she grabbed a few extra cables she had brought here and unplugged her personal tablet from the main computer.

Something about her tone didn't sit right with him. Knowing he was opening up another can of worms, Oliver sighed and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm leaving. You wanted your space? You can have it," she said without looking up at him.

The finality in her tone had him tilting his head to study her. He hadn't allowed himself to look at her,_ really_ look at her, since last night. Just the innocence and simplicity of her had him ready to offer the world to her. But he couldn't give her the one thing she really wanted. The one thing he found himself wanting more often than not.

A chance.

Shutting his eyes, Oliver took another deep breath and exhaled out the anxiety building inside him. Walking up to Felicity, he grabbed her tablet out of her hands.

"You're not leaving."

"Oh, yes, I am," she said firmly, snatching the device back from him.

"_No._ You're not."

"Damn it, Oliver, stop telling me what to do!"

"_O- _kay, children. Let's play nice," Diggle interrupted their spat, reminding them of his presence.

Oliver looked over at his friend and pursed his lips. He barely knew how to handle this situation with Felicity on his own. There was no way he was ready to open up about it in front of Diggle.

Pasting on a smile they all knew was fake, Oliver asked, "Hey, Digg, would you mind running out to the car and grabbing me a water bottle?"

The excuse to get Diggle to leave was flimsy at best, but he took the hint. As much as he wanted to see how this scene played out, he could tell he was the odd man out.

"Right… I'll be back," he said, reluctantly walking out.

As soon as the door shut, Oliver looked back at Felicity, determination burning in his eyes.

"You can't just leave, Felicity," his voice turned soft, hoping to change her mind.

"Oh, yeah? Watch me," Felicity said grabbing the purse she had set down earlier.

Oliver stood in her way, much like he had last night. He would never admit it out loud, but he enjoyed the way her eyes danced over his bare chest before they lifted back to his face.

"You can't leave. We have plans tonight… a mission."

"No, _you _have plans. With Isabel. Remember?"

_Oh, shit. _Oliver turned away as he recalled their meeting from this morning.

"You forgot, didn't you" she said with a barely restrained smile. "It's a good thing I'm your secretary, so I can remind you. Except, I quit."

Oliver's head whipped around to look at her. "You what?"

"Yeah, I don't want to know about your plans anymore, Oliver. Especially not these kind. _Especially_ not with Russia."

"Russia?" Oliver asked, thoroughly overwhelmed by everything coming out of her mouth.

"Isabel!" she spat out. "Do what you want with her. She _is_ your type. I hope you two will be very happy together, but I'm out."

"Out of the office or out of here as well?" Oliver asked, his voice dangerously quiet.

Felicity hesitated. She hadn't thought this through.

"Out… I'm… _out," _she said simply, because she couldn't bring herself to say the words.

But Oliver understood. "Out of my life. Isn't that what you mean, Felicity?"

Stepping closer, Oliver crowded her personal space, making her uncomfortable and as out of her element as he felt.

Felicity lifted her hand to push against his chest, but the heat emanating off of him had her hand dropping back to her side. Touching him now would be her undoing.

"You're doing it again, Oliver," Felicity said, her voice hushed. "You're using my feelings against me."

Oliver took another step in response. _She wants to talk about it? Fine. We'll talk about it._

"I need you here, Felicity. I rely on you. And if I have to fight dirty to keep you, then I damn sure will."

Felicity looked up from his chest to see the steely determination in his eyes.

She knew that look. It was the same look he wore every night he walked out of this lair to save the city.

But there was a softness there… for her?

Felicity opened her mouth to question him, but Diggle chose that moment to walk back in. Realizing they were closer than was normal, Felicity stumbled back and looked away from Oliver.

Oliver, however, did not move a muscle. The entire world could come crashing down this moment, but he wouldn't move, wouldn't look away, until he knew for certain he hadn't just lost Felicity.

Too many people had walked in and out of his life in the past six years. Some he knew he was better off without and some he regretted losing. But he'd be damned if he let Felicity go without a fight.

"Felicity," he said, bringing her attention back to him.

She wouldn't meet his eyes. "I-I have to go."

Oliver watched her walk past Diggle to the door. "Felicity," he called again.

She stopped at the top step and looked back at him.

"You'll come back," he stated, but the question in his eyes was clear to her.

Not trusting herself to answer, Felicity turned and fled.

_Damn it._

**Gahh, so this didn't solve anything. Only made things worse. Sorry! I wanted to add more, but this chapter was starting to get out of hand and I really wanted to update. And I'm also sorry, that it's going to continue to get more complicated in the next chapter. These two have a lot to work out and figure out before they're even in the same realm as normal couples.**

**I think Oliver has a way of sabotaging his own happiness. He's a little cynical, but I'm hoping Felicity will change all that :)**

**This fic is probably going to end up being around ten chapters long, so I hope you stick around, talk to me, get to know me! Hate on me if you don't like the chapter. Let me know if you like it.**

**Thank you so much for reading! Now review! Please and thank you!**

**And follow me on tumblr: olicitysqueen :) I need more Olicity shipping friends!**


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